Wynonna Earp Recap: Heartbreaker

Hello, friends! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? While I feel like I am losing all kinds of mojo during this panini press, I can safely say that Wynonna Earp hasn’t missed a step. This episode was a delight, from start to finish, but also set up some serious problems to go with its hefty dose of laughter (that we all definitely needed right now). So grab your Stetson, make sure your Bunny is down to f…raternize, and check your couch cushions, because here we go!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Wynonna made a friend at The Glory Hole; Wynonna was reunited with her best gun baby, Peacemaker; some Earps killed some Clantons (which is probably fine, right?); and Waverly Earp, through tears of joy, proposed to Nicole Haught. At least one small thing is right in the world for a minute…but just for a minute, because while that happened, her sister watched it through tears of heartbreak.

We open on Purgatory and the Homestead, for once not blanketed in seventeen inches of snow, which feels weird but also season-one familiar. Wynonna is tiptoeing through the trees with a bottle of whiskey, hunting for some demon game, while Nicole has hunted down The Couch and dug out her old ring, which she presents to her fiancee. Who needs champagne and hot tubs when you have a creepy motel parking lot and an old sex-stained couch?

Your love is like a tidal wave, spinning over my head

At Shorty’s, Doc, Nicole, Waverly, and Rachel join a ($200 bottle of!) champagne-pouring Nedley in celebrating the happy couple. Nedley teases them about getting engaged again, but Nedley doesn’t understand one of the benefits of being in a wlw relationship is double the lady celebrations. Doc toasts them with my new favorite salutation (“to all the kisses we have snatched, and vice versa”) as he tells them he won’t be attending their “official” engagement party the next day. Waverly’s upset, though, because it’s not a party without an undead former dentist-turned-gunslinger.

Drownin’ me in your promises, better left unsaid

Nicole compliments Nedley on his profession change from sheriff to barkeep, and he admits his hands are tied, and not in the fun way. Chrissy sunk his entire savings into the bar, which probably has shoddy plumbing and roofing, not to mention the Reaper infestation in the basement. 

Nedley asks where Wynonna is, and it turns out she’s found a demon making a meal out of a…deer? Elk? Reindeer? I don’t know, friends. Much to the boss’s dismay, this is not an animal recap. She draws Peacemaker, but then it turns out it’s her old Glory Hole buddy Amon, sporting a fancy leather apron to protect him from splatter. He points out that PeaceNonna wouldn’t even be together if it weren’t for him, but Wynonna is channeling her inner Riley “a demon is a demon” Finn and doesn’t want to hear it. Amon finally convinces her that the creature is just dinner and not some evil scheme, so this time, even though Peacemaker is ready to go, Wynonna isn’t. Well, technically, Peacemaker only glows orange the first time she points it, when she’s ready to kill him, not the second when she’s decided to let him go and just wants him to back away. I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.

You’re the right kind of sinner to release my inner fantasy

To try to lessen the sting of him skipping the engagement party, Doc offers to build HeatWave an arbor for their wedding, which Waverly is so noticeably touched by…until her drunk middle sister walks in to Shorty’s. With Wynonna there, Doc and his cozy sweater decide to fly like an eagle. Wynonna insists she missed the impromptu family meeting because she was planning their bachelorette party…but doesn’t really take into consideration the interests of 1.5 of the brides when planning it, since they end up at a dancing sausage fest at a bar that may as well be called The Bulge.

The invincible winner and you know that you were born to be

They meet another bride who is way more into the sausage, and Nicole lets herself get dragged away for shots…at noon…on a Sunday. Waverly tells Wynonna how Nicole isn’t super into a big wedding, partially because it’s her second, and I can’t believe no one even mentioned Waverly’s skull ex here, because if a marriage ceremony performed by a blacksmith in a remote cabin doesn’t count as a traditional marriage, what does, honestly?

You’re a heartbreaker

Wynonna points out to Waverly — again — that what she wants matters. Waverly has always wanted a big wedding, so she shouldn’t automatically just go along with whatever her fiancée wants. She’s the best and needs to remember it, okay?

Dream maker, love taker

It’s time for a sausage change, and here we meet Dimitri, technically for the second time since he told our girls to get a room during the couch-posal. He doesn’t seem as inspired by his job as the first gentleman in the gold Swedish Chef’s hat. Perhaps he should consider a career change, is all I’m saying. 

He slips off his vest, and he has two half-moon-shaped scars on his back, reminiscent of removed angel wings. Waverly says she knows him — maybe they met in Angel class? Seems more likely than exotic-dancing class.

Don’t you mess around with me

Rachel orders a bourbon from Nedley but gets juice instead, so she may be annoyed, but at least her vitamin C is at a healthy level. He says she should be in school, but school just isn’t for her. It makes her super anxious; plus, the last friend she had was a sworn enemy of her found family and he ended up dead-ish. But Nedley points out it wasn’t her fault because she didn’t know…just like he didn’t know what Ogre Nedley was doing when he made a snack of Calamity Jane. 

So since Rachel doesn’t want to be alone at the homestead and she can’t handle being in school, Nedley offers her a job at Shorty’s as a barback, and as long as she doesn’t drink, waters the plants on the ceiling, and never goes in the basement, there’s no way this new job can go wrong. 

You’re a heartbreaker

Pansexual love professional Dimitri has left the stage and is enjoying drinks with the Earp sisters. They commiserate over their exes, and he insists that love is a lie, because he has tried every kind of love there is. Wynonna leaves for more shots, and Waverly tells him about how she knows love is real — namely, the love of one Haught tree she likes to climb. They bet as to the legitimacy of love, which Waverly thinks is a joke but Dimitri clearly does not. Oh, and he slips some kind of vial into the pocket of her blazer, which is probably just a spare salt-shaker or something, right? That tinkling music playing when it happens is probably just a coincidence. Oh, shit, but he has supernatural eyes! Or Bette Davis eyes. I sometimes have trouble telling the difference.

Dream maker, love taker

Waverly and Nicole enter the sheriff’s office to try and find a marriage license, which looks like a ghost town because since the Clantons ran into their bit of bad luck, the only Law around is the Bunny Lob- kind. Waverly tries to get a little empty office action, but Nicole isn’t super comfortable with PDA, even though there’s no one around…except there is. Bunny sits there, not-so-quietly judging Waverly’s suggestion that Nicole wear a suit for their wedding, and also she points out that the Lord is there, too. I’m not too worried about that, though, because our Lord knows that we were born this way and She is definitely a WayHaught shipper.

Bunny asks if she’s there to institute Flannel Fridays (yes!) and needles her about not being around lately, but Nicole reminds her that she’s just a citizen and not the sheriff anymore, and you can see it still stings. Waverly tries to pivot to another person but Bunny’s the only show in town. 

Don’t you mess around, no, no, no

While the two of them are trading gay and hateful barbs, respectively, Nicole finds a large piece of glitter on her Friday Flannel. She brushes it off and looks at her angel, Waverly, and soaring music plays, the Celine Dion wind machine kicks in, and Waverly gives the patented Lena Luthor lip bite as she’s bathed in a heavenly glow.

Your love has set my soul on fire, burnin’ out of control

Suddenly, Nicole seems to have shed her PDA inhibitions and very intently tries to climb Waves like a shrub, as Bunny explains that since the Clantons disappeared, she can’t really do much without a magistrate. Waves does her best to try to fend off the Haught advances, but Nicole is nothing if not persistent. Bunny shouts at them to stop but Waverly reminds them that they have the right to get married. As Nicole stares lovingly at her tiny knight in a shining blazer, a highly sanitized Bunny relents and passes over the marriage license, probably just to get them out of “her” office.

You taught me the ways of desire; now it’s takin’ its toll

While Waverly sends her heated Haught home to calm down, a still-sanitizing Bunny finds a piece of glitter on her hand and then gets a vision of soaring-music Waverly, this time without the lip bite.

You’re the right kind of sinner, to release my inner fantasy

Waverly leaves my homophobic grandmother her behind, but it seems like Bunny is now hopping to a different tune.

The invincible winner and you know that you were born to be

Waverly’s next errand takes her to Amon’s Glory Hole, apple pie in hand as a peace offering to try and get one day of literal peace so she and Nicole can get married. As Doc eavesdrops, Amon asks if Cleo was at her office hours because he knows something happened at the Clanton place — something powerful — though he isn’t quite sure what. Murder and betrayal, Amon. Murder and betrayal. You’d have loved it.

Waverly boops Amon’s nose, because that’s a normal adult thing to do, and he ends up with some love glitter, and suddenly he’s seeing her like she’s Lena Luthor looking at her best friend. Of course, he’s literally enchanted, and he agrees to help her have peace forever, but she just needs the one day, thanks. 

You’re a heartbreaker

Waverly runs into a skulking Doc as she exits the Glory Hole, and he asks for details about her showdown with Mam Clanton. She only remembers touching her and asks if that could have killed her, and Doc reminds her how powerful she is. She doesn’t want power, though — she just wants to marry Nicole and be happy, and she wants that happiness for everyone, including Doc, who’s also worried about Cleo. 

Dream maker, love taker

Nicole’s in the barn and making her way through Waverly’s binders full of weddings when Waverly walks in and asks what was with the complete 180 earlier. Nicole explains she’s bursting at the seams with love and shows her how she’s going through the wedding books…prompting Waverly to ask if Nicole’s possessed again, which is definitely a valid question. 

You’re a Haughtbreaker

Nicole wants her to have her dream wedding, no matter what it entails, and then even takes it a few steps further. Doves! Butterflies! And a wedding hashtag! Too bad intense-eyed Nicole thinks WayHaught won’t work. I think it has a nice ring to it.

Dream maker, love taker

They’re interrupted by Bunny, who’s decided to pay a visit to the Homestead. She tells Waverly she can’t marry Nicole, but it’s not for the reason she thinks. Bunny is just an inexperienced gay with a bouquet of fake roses, standing in front of a bisexual angel, asking her to give them a chance. Waverly nopes out of that and pushes Bunny back into her Jeep, telling her she’ll call, and Bunny stops just short of shouting “you’re a wanker, number nine!” at the Earpiest Earp. 

Don’t you mess around, no, no, no

As Bunny peels away, a just-coming-to Wynonna opens the back gate of the truck she’s passed out in, shocked that Bunny has it bad for her sister. Waverly’s confused but Wynonna’s impressed. Wynonna just assumes that Waverly’s everybody’s thing, like usual, but Waverly’s starting to realize something went wrong at her bachelorette party.

Waves wakes up a passed-out-again Wynonna with some coffee, who can’t stop laughing about Waverly’s new paramour. Waverly is worried that something is wrong with Bun-Bun, but Wynonna doesn’t care about the cause, only the effect. Waverly points out it’s not just Bunny, it’s Nicole and Amon, too. Wynonna thinks the demon’s to blame, but Bunny caught the Haughts for Waves before she dipped her pie in The Glory Hole. 

You’re the right kind of sinner

Doc’s at the Clanton place, and he finds a decomposing Mam in a rocking chair, with only the buzzing flies to keep her company. I know they likely didn’t show her face because of actress/financial reasons, but for gross-out reasons, I appreciate it. He finds a devastated Cleo, who begs Doc to kill her, but he’s a man of honor and can’t because of his promise to Holt. He wants to lay Mam to rest, but Cleo’s frozen with indecision and misery and is in that place where you just can’t do anything. With probably the worst timing ever, Waverly’s love spell hits, and Doc is immediately enamoured with Cleo and turns on the ol’ mustache charm.

To release my inner fantasy

Wynonna enters The Glory Hole and gets zapped with Amon’s love whammy. She abruptly turns from accusing him of beastiality to asking him to beast her ality. Amon is confused and  ultimately turns her down because he’s in love with her baby sister. Sure, she’s not his type at all and it makes no sense, but the heart wants what the heart wants. 

The invincible winner and you know that you were born to be

Waverly tracks down Dimitri to his motel but refuses to let him look at her, lest he fall in love, but it’s okay — he’s immune to the spell he put into motion. But the spell isn’t what she thought it was — everyone isn’t supposed to be falling for her, but just for the first person they see after getting love-glittered. Looks like Waverly just had some accidental bad timing. 

She doesn’t have time for this, though — her official engaygement party is tonight, and she doesn’t have time to play literal matchmaker. Plus, forcing people to fall in love really just blasts past the concept of consent, but Dimitri doesn’t see it that way. Love is love, but there are different kinds, and if sex happens, it’s because both parties want it. And she can’t just ignore her jar of love glitter and move on, because Cupids can only pass on their gift if it’s willingly accepted, and apparently that includes taking it on as a bet you thought was a joke.

Waverly’s explaining the Cupid juice to Wynonna before the party and trying to figure a way out of her predicament. Waves can’t skip her own party, and besides, Nicole has a “surprise” for her…which makes her nervous, because Smitten!Nicole could be up to just about anything. Wynonna takes the opportunity to wax poetic about what Nicole keeps under her shirt buttons, and Waverly clocks her weird behavior immediately…but not enough that she recognizes that Wynonna is lying when she says that, no, everything is just fine.

Wynonna is hiding quite the outfit under her buffalo plaid and asks Waverly if she can borrow some mascara (probably afraid the lipstick has bite marks in it) and palms the love glitter instead. Well, she puts it in her bra. Boobs it? Chests it? Breast alligators it? You get the point.

You’re a heartbreaker

The two Earp sisters walk into Shorty’s, where Waverly is swarmed by a starry-eyed Bunny, Nicole, and Amon…only one of whom was invited. Wynonna manages to pull Bunny away from her intended, and Bunny takes the opportunity to scream at Wynonna about how she’s dressed. Just like old times.

Dream maker, love taker

Wynonna whispers to Nedley to get Bunny “so sloshed she thinks she’s Jann Arden,” and before he can get even one drink in her, he’s love-spelled by Ms. Loblaw herself. But when he compliments her, the newly sapphic Bunny just blinks and walks away.

Don’t you mess around with me

Amon’s trying to win Waverly over, and Wynonna tries to steer his motorboat into her marina. Wynonna knows Waverly is completely all in for Nicole; plus, everyone loves Waverly, and she just wants someone to love her for once. 

But before Waverly can unpack that, she hears Bunny dedicating a song to her, the timeless “Insensitive,” so it seems like whatever Nedley did, she really does think she’s Jann Arden! Nedley can’t stop staring at his lady, who only has eyes for Waverly, who…can’t believe any of this is happening. Honestly, me neither, but with delight.

You’re a Haughtbreaker

Doc and Cleo are having a heart-to-heart, and Doc tries to make her see that even though he’s thrown his lot in with the Earps, he’s not a bad person. She needs help; he wants to help her. It really is that simple. Cleo feels like she can never fulfill the legacy Mam wanted for her, and maybe it’s the loved-up Cupid glitter talking, but Doc doesn’t see her as weak. He thinks she’s a brilliant, kind-hearted, beautiful soul, no matter how terrible her mother was. This seems…familiar and romantic, but, like I said, probably just the love dust.

She doesn’t understand why he’s helping her — an Earp-adjacent and a Clanton, working together. It just seems weird. But that’s what he sees his role as. He’s the best second in the business.

Back at Shorty’s, Nedley sings along with Bunny while Nicole grabs the microphone from her, because she also wants to send out a dedication to a special someone. She tries to sing the same tune Waverly sang to her at Christmas, minus the outfit, when Wynonna breaks in to sing…something about riding her bull, and then Amon joins in with some “singing,” but Nedley’s just trying to beeline to the Bunny Hatch.

Waverly runs away, and a Shorty’s-shirted Rachel takes advantage of the chaos to break one of Nedley’s only rules — don’t go in the basement. 

Waverly calls the only person she knows is unaffected by her love spell, Doc. Cleo’s still riding the high of his mustache waxing poetic, and it seems like Doc may have realized something’s amiss. She really appreciates what he did for her and said she’s happy Nicole and Mam’s garden exchange for him went bust, which is…a surprise to him. He sadly resigns himself to the truth that he may have played a part in getting them out of the Garden, but he would have paid a steep price for it. As he and Charlene take their leave, a smitten but determined Cleo makes some heart eyes at a chainsaw.

Dream maker, love taker

Rachel creeps into the basement, maybe thinking the worst she’ll find is another case of banana liqueur. She thinks all she finds is an empty basement, then hears a king-sized handcuff rattle and an otherworldly growl. She screams, trying to give Waverly a run for her money, and then realizes it’s Billy, who just wants to go home.

Don’t you mess around with me

Don’t worry, it’s still chaos upstairs. Nicole hand-squeezed some hummus for her main squeeze, and Bunny wants her to keep her bean hands off her guitar. Everyone’s really at each other’s throats, mostly, and Waverly tries to get Doc to help, but he just stands there, mystified, unwilling to step in until Waves’ angel eyes convince him. 

You’re a heartbreaker

Dimitri also shows up, delivery in hand, and Waverly begs him for help. She tells him she left the love glitter at home, but Wynonna takes the opportunity to pull it out of her bra and just spread that shit everywhere. On everyone.

Uh-oh. It’s literally a Love Shack.

Dream maker, love taker

The group take some time to spread the love and dance with each other. This might even be better than a theoretical body-swap episode.

Don’t you mess around with me
  • Doc Holliday and four-time curling champion Randy Nedley
  • Bunny and Amon, and Bunny’s definitely got her claws firmly in that demon’s butt
  • Wynonna and Nicole, who’s wondering if it weren’t for Waverly, maybe they’d be a thing, and while Wynonna’s not not into it, well, she’s with it enough to know that that’s not a great idea, especially when Nicole’s hand starts going south
  • Wynonna makes her way to Nedley, leaving Doc to pair up with Nicole, but after one embrace, Doc realizes that all the love glitter in the world isn’t enough to make him overlook Nicole bargaining his life away, so he goes to Wynonna, and the way they look at each other is absolutely heartbreaking

Waverly looks at the exes and can feel the love tonight, but Dimitri says it’s all because of the glitter; love is, in fact, a lie. Waves is too smart for this, though, and realizes there’s heartbreak underneath his sadness. She asks him what their name was, and he admits the demon who broke his heart was Amon, who, after two years just…got bored. But the fact that Dimitri got his heart broken is proof that love exists, just like it does with Wynonna and Doc. Sure, it gets buried under a bunch of bullshit, and maybe it’s not forever, but their love? It’s real. 

You’re a heartbreaker

Turns out the cure for all this love is in the cupid’s saliva, because of course it is. A mouthful of spitballs later, everyone’s back to normal. Kind of. Wynonna’s still fragile enough that she admits she doesn’t want to go back to reality, but Doc is no one’s but his own, and he sadly storms out. Amon just leaves while Bunny, Nedley, and Nicole overcome their initial shock with a bout of cleansing laughter. Nicole beelines it for Waverly, and while she doesn’t know what happened, Waverly tells her she loves her, and that’s good enough for her. 

Dimitri tries telling Waverly that the reason he chose her is because he hadn’t seen anyone so in love since, well, ever, but I’m not even sure if she hears her because WayHaught is near the Shorty’s stairs, and you know how they get about that choppy alternative to an inclined plane. 

Dream maker, love taker

Cleo has finally decided on a course of action for Mam, and it seems like that was, surprisingly, chopping her into pieces and feeding her to the reapers. She tells her mother that she’ll still destroy the Earps, but it will be on her own terms, because she’ll never forgive her for killing Billy. A bold choice, sure, but an understandable one. You do you, Cleo. We’ve got your back.

A drunk Bunny tells WayHaught that they have a beautiful love, and she means it. Bunny gets her redemption arc of being a homophobic ass-twat, and her reward is a thick slice of Randy Nedley. 

Wynonna’s in search of her own reward at The Glory Hole. She pulls Peacemaker on Amon, but she has no intention of shooting him. That’s just the way they foreplay. She just wants to feel good, and he’s just the demon to tickle her Glory Hole. She puts down her gun in a show of peace, and she asks him if he still wants to ignore the sister in front of him for the angel back at the bar. Good news — he’s not one to look a gift Earp in the mouth.

Heartbreaker

Empty footsteps indent the ground at the Clantons’, and Cleo knows what this means — brother Billy is home, and it’s time they take care of business.

This was such a great episode, and what a welcome breath of fresh air after the last several months we’ve had. Shelley Scarrow manages to craft another classic — I laughed so many times I scared my cat, but then immediately it broke my heart. It was light enough to make us remember why this show brings us such joy, and then snuck in so many moments that made us wonder why we put ourselves through this angst every week. Classic Wynonna Earp fare; classic Shelley Scarrow. I mean, think about it. She gave us the emotional heartbreak that was “Jolene,” then completely changes gears and creates this piece of art. We really are blessed with these writers, friends, and this episode is another reason why I follow this Scarrow wherever she points.

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness:
  • Amon’s kink is being threatened and Wynonna’s is making sure people know she can kill them, so this really feels like a match made in Purgatory heaven.
  • A nice little boop for Martina Ortiz Luis there with Rachel forgetting the words to the national anthem.
  • I really love how Randy Nedley is parenting the youth of Purgatory…while also proving that he is his first name with the elders of Purgatory.
  • Nothing in Purgatory is as powerful as the pinkie swear.
  • If Dimitri is mentioning the tooth fairy, does that mean we get to see the tooth fairy soon?!
  • I’m sure Waverly saying that she would kill for Nicole is fine and not foreshadowing and just a casual comment.
  • Does Bunny’s curling trophy belong to Jann herself?!
  • Kat Barrell’s absolute devotion to love-crazed Nicole was such a delight to watch. Everyone was a delight, but she just really brought such a hilarious intensity that it made the episode for me.
  • And that entire scene with Bunny and WayHaught in the sheriff’s office was perfect. Every single thing.
  • I do love that Bunny drives the second-gayest vehicle brand on the market.
  • It was a really sweet moment where Waverly fixed Wynonna’s shirt.
  • Jann Arden singing “Insensitive” as Bunny Loblaw may be one of my favorite moments ever on this show. It was perfect, inspired, hilarious, and, of course, wonderfully performed. I’m so happy that we got to see Bunny again, and extra happy that this is what she did. 
  • I appreciate the fact that Nicole used Nedley’s seldom-used first name during that scene in Shorty’s, since he was definitely living up to it.
  • As usual, the music in this episode was top-shelf. Well done, Andrea Higgins. Well done.
  • It sounds like Bunny and Nedley are a match made in heaven, just judging by their curling abilities. 
  • I really appreciated the emphasis of Waverly’s bisexuality. 
Favorite lines:
  • But how will the sparrows weave your gown that quickly?
  • You should smile more. You’d be prettier. 
  • You know, I have an old copy of “Bend it Like Beckham. We could watch it together.”
  • Love lives in the butt.
  • Dinner, everybody! Who’s ready for some rotten, old bitch?
  • “Well, have a nice evening, lesbians.” “Waverly’s bisexual.” “Yeah, well, just say ‘horny.’”

This episode was so fun, from beginning to end, and a great reminder of why we all love this show so much. I’m so happy to have Wynonna Earp back on my screen, and while this was a great episode to give me my jollies, I can’t wait to see how the next five episodes break my heart and change my life. Maybe it has some advice to give on how to be…insensitive.

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 10/9c on SYFY and CTV Sci-Fi.