Wynonna Earp Recap: We Belong

09815

Hello, friends, and welcome to my recap for Wynonna Earp 4×03, “Look at Them Beans.” We all knew that with a title like this, it was gonna have something to do with chili, right? I’m happy to say we were correct. So grab your t-shirt cannon AND your Super Soaker, zest your best limes, and gather up all the fixins for your best meaty vegan chili, because here we go! Hail seitan!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Doc, Wynonna, and Waverly escaped the Garden, but a year and a half passed by and they don’t even have unlimited breadsticks to show for it. Also, Purgatory is some sort of hellscape where they hang people in the town square, which is probably great. But bonus — WayHaught got way hot on the Homestead stairs, which is apropos of nothing but I just like reminding people that this scene exists. On a TV show. Between two queer women. And not a m/f couple. Because it’s what we all deserve. 

Wynonna and Doc are in the town square and discussing the “frontier justice” hanging from the makeshift gallows. 

Many times I tried to tell you Many times I cried alone
Many times I tried to tell you
Many times I cried alone

They head to Shorty’s for a little liquid courage, and something terrifying has happened. Shorty’s is…a juice bar. With soft R&B playing in the background. And tiny cafe tables. And a cover of some sort on the pool table. Doc realizes that unless the Property Brothers made a visit to Purgatory, something is amiss. Proprietor Chrissy Nedley can’t believe who’s walked in to her juice joint and throws an eggplant (on the nose much?) at the couple, and when they start some fisticuffs, everyone in the “bar” pulls a gun on them and they slowly separate. Chrissy places Wynonna under a citizen’s arrest for the murder of her father, Randall Nedley.

Always I'm surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone
Always I’m surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone

WHAT THE WHAT?!

The gun-toting townspeople frog-march Wynonna to the square, all the while she’s insisting good ol’ Randall was alive the last time she saw him, which was days ago, she thought, and not a year and a half ago like Chrissy said. So at least now everyone’s on the same page about wishing for a time turner, anyway. They start to string Wynonna up and they’re interrupted by a gun-shooting Sheriff Holt Claybourne, who is decidedly not Haught, who tells them to let Wynonna go. She deserves a “fair” trial, and he takes her to the sheriff’s department while Doc gets Waverly and Nicole.

Back at the Homestead, AKA “Chez Valdez” (I guess that does make more sense than “Cheese Valdez”), Waverly is dancing around in her post-coital bliss and stumbles upon Rachel in the kitchen, who I’m guessing can now personally attest to the volume of WayHaught. Waverly grabs a bonus blanket coat off of the wall, because apparently now she realizes she’s terrible at dressing weather appropriate, and is confused as to who this stranger is in her kitchen offering her kombucha. 

Kombucha can wait, Rachel, because a makeshift alarm goes off. Nicole runs downstairs, and Rachel tells her that there’s something in the trap behind the barn. Waverly is super confused, because the only traps she thinks Nicole is involved in are thirst traps, but in the last 18 months, her best baby has started trapping monsters. Apparently Waverly doesn’t trust that all her guns are still hidden around the house, because she takes off after a weapon-toting Rachel and Nicole with a giant spoon emblazoned with “bless this hot mess.”

Don't want to leave you really I've invested too much time
Don’t want to leave you really
I’ve invested too much time to give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind

They explain to Waverly that there are ten traps around the Homestead that have to be checked every two hours, because even though there aren’t any Revenants, there’s still things that go bump in the night, especially one particularly persistent troll that hangs out in the woods nearby. But this troll they caught is more of the gunslinger variety, who currently is ball-trapped and in a skunk-smelling hole. No-longer-Sheriff Haught releases his mini-Hollidays, and Doc tells them that Wynonna is in the pokey…and not in the fun way.

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words we’ve both fallen under

An orange-jumpsuited Wynonna, who’s obviously inspired by Nicole’s disgust for top buttons,  is shoved into Bobo’s terrarium and makes a new friend in half-demon Casey, who tells her what the new Ghost River Triangle is like. After the citizens were evacuated because of the “forest fires,” the demons took up residence. Like, all of the demons, seemingly drawn to the stairs (the ones in the woods, gentle pervs), and they didn’t leave when the townsfolk came back. 

And just because we needed proof of that, to the woods we go. A delivery truck has to stop because the mangled body of a wolf (Bobo? Is that you?) is in the road. Some type of monster — maybe definitely probably a Wampa — peels back the roof of the truck and presumably attacks the driver.

At the Homestead, Doc and Waverly are trying to process the loss of Randy Nedley, a loss that Nicole has been dealing with for months. A seemingly hardened Nicole explains that some people just didn’t come back, and she plays it off like he was one of them and his disappearance didn’t hurt more. She tells them about her run-in with Kate on the train (but doesn’t mention the tarot reading), says that Jeremy’s okay but disconnected from her, and Robin is…well, better left unsaid, it seems. Waverly and Doc commiserate over all of their missed episodes of Property Brothers and how, if they’d at least gotten to live those months, it feels like it would be easier. “There was nothing easy about those months,” a haunted Nicole replies. 

She hands over Waverly’s tea and looks like she’s going to cry because there’s no almond milk. Did she stock it when she could, I wonder, in anticipation of Waverly coming back? Just because she never knew when it might happen? How many empty cartons did she throw away?

Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better We belong, we belong, we belong together
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
We belong, we belong, we belong together

Doc tries to tell Nicole that she’s a hero, but it’s making her very uncomfortable. It makes me wonder what all she did to keep the Homestead safe, if maybe there are some things she isn’t proud of. Maybe not — maybe it was just a rough fight, all alone with just Rachel by her side.

Doc asks about Mercedes, and Nicole tells him that she’s affiliated with a new demon bar, but there is some good news — his beloved Charlene is safe and sound.

He takes her to the new demon bar — The Glory Hole — and makes friends with the bouncer (read: he punches him) and meets the proprietor, Amon, who seems to know him pretty well. He demands to see Mercedes and flirts shamelessly with Amon, and not gonna lie, it’s kinda hot. 

Doc thinks he needs to fight his way into their good graces, but The Glory Hole is thrilled to have him at their establishment. A sexy undead legend is right up their alley. So to speak.

Maybe it's a sign of weakness when I don't know what to say
Maybe it’s a sign of weakness when I don’t know what to say

A dance beat plays and a familiar voice says, “Welcome to my Glory Hole.” That’s right, it’s dominatrix Mercedes (Portia Control, of course) on the stage, shaking her whip for all it’s worth. 

Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway
Maybe I just wouldn’t know what to do with my strength anyway

Waverly’s in her closet (noooo), looking for something to wear to spring her sister from the clink, and sees how lovingly Nicole has stored her clothes in plastic bags. She tries to get Nicole to talk about her journey from Sheriff Haught to Homesteader Haught, but she deflects. Waverly’s pissed — about that and about her sister’s incarceration, and she’s going to kick some ass, maybe while wearing that giant moccasin if her foot really does go up a shoe size. 

“God, I missed you, Waverly Earp,” Nicole says, letting herself experience some joy for like two seconds. The happiness on her face speaks volumes.

Have we become a habit?Do we distort the facts?
Have we become a habit? Do we distort the facts?

She’s distracted by Rachel shouting outside while she’s explaining that she saved “everything [she] could,” which I’m sure isn’t foreshadowing of something terrible in a future episode. Apparently Rachel isn’t milking the skunk correctly and she needs to go show her how it’s done. Nicole leaves with a kiss to her angel’s forehead, and just like that, the joy is gone…and Waverly can tell.

Now there's no looking forward Now there's no turning back When you say
Now there’s no looking forward
Now there’s no turning back
When you say

Casey explains that he’s in the terrarium because he “spla-tow’ed” one of his customers because she was a Medusa — understandable — and asks how Wynonna managed to get through the border. It’s patrolled by “some government dick pickles” who are keeping the demons in but will let the humans out. Sounds like Black Badge. And I bet Black Badge smells like dick pickles. Speaking of…

Sheriff Dick Pickle taps on terrarium and says that Wynonna has a visitor, and good news — it’s Waverly doing her best Matlock-in-a-stylish-blazer-and-glasses-from-2×01 impression. Waverly is trying to help and Wynonna is accidentally doing her best to derail her — classic two-of-three-Earp-sisters behavior. They’re magistratus interruptus’d by the magistrate — Cleo, we find out later — who isn’t impressed much by Wynonna, and Waverly assures Wynonna that Doc is on the case of helping prove her innocence.

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder

In actuality, Doc is still staring at Mercedes, slack-jawed, cigarette in teeth, and who can blame him, really? Amon offers to get Doc a drink after her performance. He can’t offer much because his supply keeps getting ambushed in the woods. 

 We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under
We belong to the sound of the words we’ve both fallen under

Mercedes’ incisors seem particularly long and sharp and Doc asks if Kate turned her, but she assures him it’s just for show. It’s just safer to pretend to be a demon. Doc tells her Wynonna is in jail and asks what happened to Nedley. She tried to naughty nurse him back to health, but he eventually ran. He was oozing and smelled like “a teen boy’s feet coated in blue cheese,” which is…very descriptive. Bottom line, she has no idea where he went. “The people eater” is out at Grizzly Flats, so that’s where Doc goes. I mean, probably. There’s no sign that says “Welcome to Grizzly Flats.” Or “Grisly Flats,” which actually seems more accurate right now.

Waverly asks about a jailbreak, and Wynonna worries that the guards are all demons, and she’s currently just a crazy chick sans gun. Literally out of nowhere (and on a bullhorn, no less), the magistrate announces that they’re going to hold a chili cook-off — specifically The Randy Nedley Memoria Chili Cookoff! For Freedom! — and the winner gets a get-out-of-demon-jail free card, so Wynonna realizes she needs to learn how to cook off chili, like, yesterday. 

Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better We belong, we belong, we belong together
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
We belong, we belong, we belong together

The chili cookoff is at Chrissy’s juice joint, of course, and she’s going to guest judge. Casey explains that the magistrate has these monthly contests to keep the citizens of Purgatory amused. 

WayHaught shows up with a basket full of chili ingredients, but the only thing Wynonna has eyes for is that crazy ginger bitch. They share the longest, most adorable hug, but of course move back into insulting each other. Wynonna asks how Nicole is doing and gets a flat “peachy” in response, Nicole’s guard fully up. The competition starts, and after Wynonma puts the cheese in first (was she even at the 2005 chili cook-off?), Nicole and Waverly jump in and help.  

Close your eyes and try to sleep now Close your eyes and try to dream
Close your eyes and try to sleep now
Close your eyes and try to dream

Casey seems to know his way around a chili cook-off, whereas Cleo only seems interested in firing her t-shirt cannon into the crowd. Wynonna and Nicole are doing food prep — cutting onions, allegedly, but that’s not a very fine dice for a chili — and Wynonna says she’s surprised that Nicole gave up being sheriff, but she should know better than that. Obviously Nicole didn’t give it up voluntarily — Cleo showed up, junked up the town, self-magistrated, and hired that hunk of stale bread as the sheriff. Nicole would have loved to have stopped her, but she had a teen to protect that she had just met, a previously-abandoned-but-now-home Homestead to keep safe, and her family to look for. “And I did look — hard,” she assures Wynonna, and says she knows she let everyone down.

Waverly says less talking, more chili-ing, and goes to add the pressed seitan to Wynonna’s concoction, because of course this half-angel supports a fully vegan chili. She tries to add the pressed seitan, and Wynonna thinks they need more meat, less satan.

Clear your mind and do your best to try and wash the palette clean
Clear your mind and do your best to try and wash the palette clean

Sheriff Dick Pickle Claybourne stops and talks to Nicole, but it’s really just an excuse to needle her about not being sheriff anymore. Honestly, this guy is Tucker Gardner all over again, but with a little more beard and muscle and fewer possessed sisters, probably. He hopes there are no hard feelings about the “election,” and she says she didn’t have as much time to campaign and mentions his “other rumored advantages,” and I’m excited to find out more about this, because I’m guessing the election and the events surrounding it weren’t fair and balanced. A rigged election? Who says this show isn’t realistic?

We can't begin to know it, how much we really care
We can’t begin to know it, how much we really care

He snarks a thinly veiled threat at the Homestead and at Rachel, and Nicole decides it’s time to go check on her. She looks truly haunted when she tells Waverly about all the things she’s caught in the traps and how there’s a monster that really wants inside. You can tell she’s upset because she leaves without even saying goodbye to her best friend.

I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere
I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere

Wynonna steals some bacon from Casey to try and thwart seitan and drops it in her pot without even browning it a bit, and just…this is not going to be good chili, guys. 

Still you say
Still you say

Doc shoots what is definitely not a human in a monster costume “for Randy Nedley,” and it slows the monster, but doesn’t stop it. Also, it looks Doc deeply in the eyes. I think we all know at this point who the monster is, but I’ll pretend like it’s a mystery until the reveal, okay? But the bullets don’t slow it down — does this mean we’re in for another “I’m wearing…a bullet-proof vest” reveal as the victim rips apart the buttons on their shirt?! 

No. No, it does not mean that at all.

Doc grabs a bottle of hooch and runs away from the monster. 

Rachel is injured, and Nicole is worried and probably thinks she should never leave her again. Rachel was trying to use kombucha in a trap by the poplars and sees “the crusty one” and “daddy blue eyes,” and Doc tries to lure the monster away from Rachel. I will admit that I SHOUTED at first when Rachel mentioned the poplars, because I believe that’s the kind of tree Wynonna was going to plant for Willa, but when when it turned out to be Doc and ******, well, this seemed like a red herring. But I wanted your hearts to race for four seconds like mine did, so I kept it in.

Wynonna is thrilled because she thinks the chili is edible (I don’t think it is), but Cleo literally splits up this sister moment by shooting a t-shirt at them. She takes this opportunity to announce the guest judge, Miss Kidney Bean herself, Chrissy Nedley…who sees Wynonna and is filled with rage. Even if that chili were as good as mine, Wynonna’s beans are toast. 

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words we’ve both fallen under

In a really cool scene that felt like it was out of a horror movie (like the Scream trilogy, because those are the only horror movies I’ve seen in the last 30 years), Nicole is trying to keep her injured buddy safe, but we hear shouting and growling outside. Doc is begging to be let in, and something — maybe him, maybe not — is pounding on all the doors and windows. But Nicole is just…frozen in place. She can’t make a decision or she’s frozen in fear or one of a thousand other possibilities. Maybe she’s just had enough. 

Rachel finally jumps out of bed and lets Dr. Mustache in — don’t worry, his liquor is safe — and Nicole’s snapped out of it enough to defend them. She takes a page from her girlfriend’s book and just shoots a hole into the door of the Homestead. The beast appears to have been scared away, but Doc’s going to return to the woods to finish what he started. Together, they work out that the “beast” is actually a host for some puffballs, and with all it’s been through today, they think it’s weak enough that they can defeat it.

Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better We belong, we belong, we belong together
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
We belong, we belong, we belong together

Chrissy talks about her father’s “complicated relationship” with the chili cook-off, and unfortunately Cleo interrupts he before we can find out what the F happened at the 2005 one!  Cleo announces the winner, and much to our — and Chrissy’s — surprise, it’s Wynonna. Wynonna kisses her new chili trophy (didn’t she learn her lesson about getting up close and personal with trophies) and is taken away by the magistrate and her cronies. Waverly’s surprised, too, because her chili tastes like “peppermint butt,” and then she realizes this was all an excuse for Cleo to get her t-shirt cannons on Wynonna.

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder

She tells Wynonna she’s taking her to the border so she can leave, but Wynonna doesn’t want to leave. She just got back. This is her home. It’s where her metaphorical yoga mat is.

Plus, Wynonna can’t figure Cleo out — she knew who Wynonna was but isn’t a Revenant, and she doesn’t have the pull to just kill her. But Cleo finds the keys she was looking for, and the two Thelma and Louise it out of there. 

Doc and Nicole are trying to figure out what kind of creature they’re dealing with, and Rachel says it did its best Chewie impression when it stepped in her kombucha and its leakage smelled like “blue cheese and boy feet.” 

Doc doesn’t think the creature is their enemy, but Nicole insists it wants “to take Waverly’s home and our ability to think of anything else.” She shows Doc a scrap of Nedley’s Hawaiian shirt she found in the trap — it’s responsible for killing Nedley, and she wants revenge. But expert tracker Doc has another thought — the ball puffers are parasites, and their host is someone who always comes back to Nicole. The beast that’s been haunting her for the last 18 months? It’s one of the people she’s been missing more than anything. It’s Randall Nedley.

We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under
We belong to the sound of the words we’ve both fallen under

Cleo has taken Wynonna to an abandoned snowy field, zip-hog-ties her, and leaves her out as bait for the ogre, AKA the purveyor of chili himself, former Sheriff Nedley. Cleo tells Wynonna her disdain is “hereditary, daughter of Earps.” Hmm. Let’s put a pin in this for later, shall we?

She heads back to her car but the skank toilet is intercepted by Waverly and is shoved down the same hill Wynonna just went down. Waverly tries to unzip Wynonna with her teeth but Cleo runs back to her vehicle, so Waverly runs back to her and Wynonna remains zipped. Waverly does her best non-stick Sara Lance impression and grapples with Cleo at her vehicle, finally taking the t-shirt cannon (and her bag) as a weapon.

The ogre approaches Wynonna, but HaughtDoc gets there at the same time and shout that the beast is Nedley. The three heroes approach the former sheriff, weapons in hand — a length of rope, a Super Soaker, and a t-shirt cannon –and Nicole takes charge and tells them how to attack. Oh, this is about to get fun.

And fun it was — Doc’s trying to lasso ogre Nedley, Nicole’s trying to get in a clean shot with her water gun and Waverly…is Waverly. Oh, and it’s in slow-motion. And there’s a power ballad playing.

And all the while, a still-hog-zip-tied Wynonna is watching it all, laughing hysterically. Same, Wynonna. Same. 

Doc finally manages to take Ogredly down, pinning him down by the puffballs, and Nicole just…unloads on him with her Super Soaker. Girl’s got a lot of rage, and I’m happy she’s getting some of it out. I’m assuming she’s soaking him with some super kombucha and it’s just melting the parasites off of him, because suddenly, naked-but-for-some-rope Nedley is underneath Doc and asking Wynonna what he did. “You survived, Nedley,” she says. All of you did, and you should be proud of yourselves, no matter what it took.

Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better

Waverly finally scissorses the ties off of her sister, and she shoots Nedley a XXL Randy Nedley Memorial Chili Cookoff! For Freedom! Tee. They head straight for Shorty’s, where Chrissy is cleaning up after the Cook-off. She’s finally reunited with her dad after over 18 months, thinking he was dead the entire time, and I won’t lie to you, friends. In this episode, which felt like it was meant to be a break for our emotions, a chance for us to laugh and catch our breath after the insanity of the first two episodes, at this point, I straight-up cried for a good 90 seconds. Admittedly, I have a soft spot for Dad stuff, but their reactions, plus Nicole’s, really got me.

We belong, we belong, we belong together
We belong, we belong, we belong together

Wynonna says to keep him away from small animals, just in case, and Chrissy tries to apologize, sort of, in her own way. Her dad was the only person she had, and it was the two of them for so long. And when he was gone, the loneliness and stress of the evacuation really got to her, and when her friends weren’t there, well, she lashed out. Wynonna assures Chrissy it won’t happen again, and I really hope Nicole is paying attention. 

Wynonna awkwardly hugs Nedley and says it’s good to have him back, and Nicole’s eyes immediately go to Waverly. The sisters leave, and Nicole tries to go with them, clearly discounting her importance to her mentor. She looks so uncomfortable and scared — to admit to him how much she cares for him, maybe. To let herself rely on him again, probably. To think about the last 18 months she went through without him, definitely.

Nicole steels herself and tells him to get Chrissy out while he can, but all he can concentrate on for now is that his daughter cooked off chili without him. 

At The Glory Hole (a phrase I never saw myself writing, but here we are), Doc sidles up to the bar and plops down his stolen bottle of liquor. Turns out, the truck of hooch were Amon’s, and he’s paid for it once. He’s not going to pay for it again. Doc points out that the alternative is that he sells it to another bar in this dry town, but Amon wants to keep negotiating. Doc suggests he also purchase protection for his future stock, and since the Ogredley is just Nedley now, so it’s a pretty safe job prospect. And in return, all he asks for is a future favor…and some cash. I’m excited to see where this partnership goes — will it fly to new heights or fall like a face to hard wood?

Who says everyone doesn’t get sexy times on this show? Not gonna lie, even though this doesn’t even register on my personal Kinsey scale, I found this scene pretty hot, partially thanks to some really great mustache work. And what a refreshing turn of events — to have an extremely sexually charged scene between two men…that I’m into. 2020 is wild, friends. 

Nicole and Waverly have had a long day of de-fuzzballing the former sheriff, so they’re taking some time to relax in bed. It’s another moment of happiness Nicole lets herself feel…but it’s fleeting. They hear a door open, and even though Waverly explains that it’s Wynonna getting snacks, Nicole is spooked. Too many bumps in the night over the last year and a half that weren’t an Earp. Even an “I love you” isn’t enough to pull her back to the moment. Waverly can tell something’s off, and she tries to get her always to tell her about the time she was away. Nicole looks terrified and like she’s almost ready to talk, but it’s too much. She leaves, citing the traps that need to be checked, and Waverly takes it in stride. She realizes she just needs some time and some love, so she accepts it at face value and offers to join her. 

Chrissy Nedley, recently reunited with her father but apparently having no real ties to the area, is at the border, trying to leave and head back to her job at the chloroform factory. She tells the border guard that she has no set plans to return, and she goes to get her supervisor, who comes over and tells her she’s clear to go. But that voice — it’s familiar. “They’re back,” Chrissy whispers to him out of the window, and supervisor Jeremy watches her go.

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder

Wynonna finds Rachel in “her” old room, folding laundry. She says she’ll move to the barn now that everyone is back, but Wynonna tells her to stay. She asks Rachel why she left Monument, and it’s because she wanted to help Nicole get through her “stuff.” With a level of genuineness that she’d never let anyone else see she had about Nicole, she asks how bad things are with her. She just says that she was alone for a very long time, so Wynonna thanks her for taking care of her best friend. They trade a few insults and Wynonna heads out to the barn…where she’s promptly bagged and kidnapped by gun-toting military dudes. Must be Tuesday.

 

Thinking about Nicole over the last 18 months makes me really sad. I wonder where the giant spoon came from, and I’d like to imagine it was Rachel. She had to constantly be trying to prop her up while also trying to maintain her own sanity. She managed to scrape together a little money, and when she saw it online, she knew it was the perfect holiday gift to put a smile on Nicole’s face, even for a few minutes. 

And with her family finally back, all she can let herself feel is that she didn’t do enough to make it happen. She feels like she let them down, and that’s just killing me. She shies away when Doc tries to comfort her. She makes a joke when she’s talking to Wynonna about their missing time. She won’t even let herself get completely comfortable with Waverly. Waverly can’t stop telling Nicole she loves her, but Nicole just can’t get there. Maybe she’s afraid Waverly still isn’t real, or that she’ll disappear, or maybe she’s afraid if she lets herself be happy, another giant moccasin will drop. I don’t think it’s because her feelings have changed — they obviously haven’t. But she has. She’s not the same “in like Flynn” girl we saw three season ago. The last 18 months have changed her, and I can’t wait to see how…and how the Earp sisters will help put her back together. Not the same as she was, probably, but better than before. It’s okay, Nicole. Chicks dig scars, even ones you can’t always see, especially if you let them help you heal from them.

My mind is racing at who Cleo could be. Bobo’s daughter? Bulshar’s? Maybe one of his sister wives had a daughter? Could she be related to Kate somehow? Does she have an older tie, maybe to Wyatt or to Robert Svane? Or…does she have a best friend who was betrayed by the Earps? Someone fairy godmother-like who can home-brew both dragon serum and a brandy Alexander like nobody’s business. Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo indeed.

There were a lot of good, fun scenes in this episode, interspersed with crumbs to make us want more, but two in particular stood out to me — the horror scene with Rachel, Doc, and Nicole, and the power-ballad montage in the snow. Both were better and more entertaining than they had the right to be, and it showed a real mastery of writing and direction of the episode. Obviously Shelley and Melanie know better than anyone what Earpers want, what Wynonna Earp should look like, and how to be entertaining on a $3 budget. Melanie is our Wynonna for a reason, and I would watch anything she had a hand in. Is there anything our girl on top can’t do? I do love when a cast member gets to direct in their own show, and no one deserves it more than Melanie. She really rose to the occasion and kicked this challenge right in the box.

And Shelley? I’d follow that Scarrow wherever she points. You made me laugh, you made me cry, and you made me crush my recommended word count yet again. Well done, ladies, and thank you for such a fun, entertaining episode. You deserve all of the accolades, and, frankly, we deserve all of the fun you gave us. 

 

Favorite lines:

  • Mmm. Microbes.
  • Batman in the microwave!
  • Everybody shows up for bush.
  • Vacation is over, assholes! It is time for a Holliday.
  • “Bring me Ms. Gardner unless you fancy kissing hardwood, too.” “Mmm. Well, there were parts of that scenario which I found…enticing.” KISS KISS KISS
  • This is a Russian doll of suckage.
  • Buddy, apparently I haven’t pooped in 18 months.
  • Who’s President Satan?
  • Not today, seitan.
  • It’s Doctor Mustache — we have to save him.
  • “See, they lied. You’re not even fun.” WHO IS THEY?! Who would describe Wynonna as “fun”?
  • Take the bed. You’ve earned it, kid. Besides, I’m better in the cold.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • I love that Doc loves Property Brothers.
  • I am into Chrissy’s drink specials. Love a salty lime.

00448

  • Nicole letting Waverly help her out of Doc’s mini-well felt like a big deal to me. Over the last 18 months, she’s had exactly one person she could rely on, and I can’t imagine that that trust was built overnight. 
  • I absolutely loved Andrew Phung as Casey, and I hope we get to see him again. For one thing, I know he’s a half-demon, so I’m just curious, you know, what kind. Anya Jenkins taught me that some demons are useful members of society. 
  • Can I get a job in Purgatory naming bars? 
  • I guess if the county is dry, it makes sense that Chrissy’s turned Shorty’s into a juice joint.
  • The magistrate’s apron and sign guy must be the same person as Leslie Knope’s binder guy, because they turned that shit around fast.
  • The Wynaught reunion was perfect — the exact right amount of feelings and snark. The two them, personified.
  • Nicole Haught, so versatile. First a Daddy, now a Mommy. 
  • I love how Waverly was skank-shaming-shaming herself. 
  • A really perfect montage song here.
  • If Wynonna’s going to the barn, where is Doc sleeping? 

Wynonna Earp airs Sundays at 10/9c on SYFY and CTV Sci-Fi.