Wynonna Earp Recap: Total Blood Eclipse of the Heart

Hello, friends, and welcome to this week’s Wynonna Earp recap of season Bulshar, episode Anna freaking Silk. I watched this episode at 1 a.m. and had no one to shout about it with, and it stuck with me so much that I woke up at 8 a.m. the next day. These last few episodes really have a way of staying with you and working your brain until it shouts, “I’m tired! Let me sleep!” Maybe that’s just me. Anyway, grab your angel pants, bacon doughnut, and let’s get into it.

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Bulshar got the gun, Wynonna thinks Bobo knows a way to defeat him, and Waverly burned off a face and also fixed a face, so at least she’s versatile?

We open on a flashback of a mustachioed Juan Carlo dictating the story of two guardians who had to “stand by idly” as evil took hold to a young woman named Maeve. Robert Svane interrupts and says that Wyatt Earp is coming — which is just in time, since it’s the night of the Blood Eclipse. Bobo is scared, because Bulshar will kill them all, and JC tells him to have hope. Juan Carlo wants to get to the salt flats to take Peacemaker to the champion, as he polishes a shiny sword. Is…is the sword Peacemaker? Well, shit.

Wynonna begs Bobo to help her, but Bobo is just kind of all over the place. Talking in even more riddles than usual. Bobo tells her she needs to have hope but that it’s gone. Wynonna apologizes for keeping him in a plexiglass house, but he understands. He can’t be trusted right now.

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely

And you’re never coming ’round

Waverly and Jeremy bring her a coffee, and the sisters try and just talk out their current problems. It’s a whole lot of garbage, what with Doc being a vampire and Peacemaker in place to open the Garden, but at least they have each other. Waverly is worried about Wynonna, but Wynonna needs to leave. She can’t just sit around, but Waverly reminds her that she’s the heir, and they need her to save the day, which is probably the last thing she needed to be reminded about.

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit tired

Of listening to the sound of my tears

At the abandoned mine, we hear an explosion, and a curious figure steps out of a hazmat suit, and it’s freakin’ Anna Silk! She’s apparently there for the chosen one, which I’m guessing is not Harry Potter this time.

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit nervous

That the best of all the years have gone by

Waves and Jeremy decide what they need is the most difficult of all tasks — A RECAP. It’s so difficult to know which parts are relevant and should be talked about, and then it’s also important to still be entertaining because you don’t want to lose your audience. I get it. Jeremy gets it.

So, to recap…Bulshar has a pull over the trees and wants to get into the Garden. He must want one of the trees in the Garden — the one of Knowledge or Life. Waverly is confused that the Garden is in Purgatory, and Bobo interrupts them and says he wants out. Bobo says “he took her book,” and Waverly’s all like, “Who? What? A girl? A book?!” But Bobo’s done with Sharing Time.

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit terrified

And then I see the look in your eyes

At the homestead, Wynonna hears some banging in the barn, and it’s not a confused Doc looking for some whiskey. It’s Charlie, who’s fixing her lawnmower. Without a jacket. In the drafty barn. In the middle of winter. Charlie thinks she’ll trade lawn innuendos with him, but she’s tired. The world is ending, and Wynonna wants a hug…and Charlie Fire Services fixed her lawnmower and makes her laugh and feels like the most normal thing in her life right now, so she goes and she gets one.

(Turn around, bright eyes!)

Every now and then I fall apart

Bobo tells Waverly to ask Doc about a witch, but things get jumbled up in his brain and he tells her the witch’s name is Juan Carlo. Okay, so Juan Carlo isn’t the witch, but he did defend her when no one else did. Waverly asks her girlfriend if she can track down Doc because they need info on someone named “Maeve.”

(Turn around, bright eyes!)

Every now and then I fall apart

Wynonna explains to Charlie how Bulshar found the Garden — he turned people into trees and then used their root systems to find it. It’s just super smart, and she’s impressed. They hear a vehicle approach and go to investigate. It’s a woman who says her name is Kevin (and whose wardrobe is my fashion goals), and she’s here to help.

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit restless

And I dream of something wild

Doc buys a bag of blood from a stranger (to us), and is like me when I get a warm chocolate chip cookie. He just can’t wait and tears into it immediately. Unlike me with a chocolate chip cookie, though, since he’s slurping down a freaking bag of blood, maybe he should have gone into the basement or something. Nicole wonders why Kate can’t help him with his blood lust, and Doc tells her Kate is gone. Nicole shows Doc the picture, and Doc says it’s Maeve Perley — as in Gretta and Mattie Perley. Doc will help Nicole, but he says he’s nervous about losing control. But Officer Haught is super smart, remember? She’s got it covered with some wooden bullets (that she probably made herself).

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit helpless

And I’m lying like a child in your arms

Kevin’s at the homestead with Charlie and Wynonna and explains that she’s part of an organization that keeps the balance in the world. She technically can’t interfere, but she knows of a weapon than can help them defeat Bulshar. Her menfolk bosses think Wynonna isn’t worthy, but Kevin is ready to bust down that glass ceiling. She tells Wynonna to kick Charlie out so they can get to defeating the big bad. Charlie is all butt hurt because he thinks that by doing all of these things for Wynonna — helping Doc, attacking Dehydrated!Constance, killing the beekeepers — this somehow earns him a place at her right hand for the fighting. It’s not about him, which is something he can’t seem to wrap his head around. Yes, Charlie. You’ve entered a world where it’s not all about you, and maybe it won’t ever be about you. It’s. About. Her.

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit angry

And I know I’ve got to get out and cry

Kevin and Waverly meet for the first time, and Kevin chomps on a pickle while she insults Waverly’s hair. So she’s beautiful and charming, obviously. Kevin’s idea of a weapon is Bulshar’s severed arm, which is still in the mine where he was buried for so many years. Wynonna doesn’t want Waverly to go on this hero’s quest, but she finally relents.

(Turn around)

Every now and then I get a little bit terrified

But then I see the look in your eyes

Maeve was a witch the townspeople burned because they didn’t trust her — she preferred to be alone, had her nose buried in a book all day, and wouldn’t speak to men. She helped women give birth, not be pregnant, and any other manner of things that the men didn’t want them doing. So she’s basically Nicole’s spirit witch. They enter the cabin, and Doc surmises that Gretta has left…just like a lot of the other townspeople. It’s cold, though, so Doc tries to light a fire, which accidentally unleashes FireWitch!Maeve, who can talk through the fire…because where else can she turn?

(Turn around, bright eyes!)

Every now and then I fall apart

Doc tries to threaten Maeve by telling her who he is, and she replies, “You’re Wyatt Earp’s boyfriend,” much to Nicole’s surprise, and which Doc does not deny.

(Turn around, bright eyes!)

Every now and then I fall apart

Maeve isn’t getting sweet-talked by Doc, so Nicole takes a shot, because she’s “pretty good with teen girls.” Sure you are, HaughtPants. But Nicole gets caught in the fire, at the point of no return, and is possessed by teenage Maeve, who recognizes that Johnny Hank is “different,” AKA undead. She tries to use Doc as her real-estate agent and find her a new body to live in, but Doc refuses to play along, so she says he needs to find her a fresh body, which he also refuses.

And I need you now tonight

And I need you more than ever

At the mine, Waverly Earp, Queen of Appropriate Timing, finally mentions to Wynonna that she saw Mercedes and her janked-up face. They hear a disembodied scream from the mine, and it’s a one-armed radioactive Revenant with Bulshar’s arm doing duty as his missing appendage.

And if you only hold me tight

We’ll be holding on forever

Robin and Jeremy are having a romantic brown-bagged fries lunch in front of Bobo’s terrarium but are interrupted by Doc calling on the telephone-y. Jeremy’s still mad at Doc for biting Robin and isn’t speaking to him, but Doc needs help because of Nicole’s possession. Jeremy may be mad at Doc, but he could never abandon Nicole, so he heads out to the Perley estate.

And we’ll only be making it right

Cause we’ll never be wrong

Maeve!Nicole is threatening to cut her hair and marveling over the future sheriff’s taste in lacy underthings, continuing Unposessed!Nicole’s war on top buttons. Then she notices Jeremy and sniffs him, truly the sign of a sophisticated witch seeking a new home. She moves into Jeremy next, even though he’s a little skinny for her tastes, and it’s all good until she realizes Jeremy isn’t “purely human.” So she jumps back into Nicole.

Together we can take it to the end of the line

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

Wynonna tries to attack Now Two-Armed Clint, but her skin starts sizzling at the radiation after she punctures his neck with the keys to the truck. So, now they’re down a set of vehicle keys, and there’s a radioactive Revenant slowly on their tail. Oh, and Wynonna had herself a fancy faint before she and Waverly make their way down the road. But they realize Mercedes’ house isn’t far, so they decide to go there instead of town.

I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark

We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

Robin is listening to some smooth jazz while he has Jeremy’s plastic gun trained on Bobo. Bobo says he can put the gun down, but Robin isn’t taking any chances. And then they have just…the most delightful conversation about jazz. Seriously. It’s rather sweet and ends with Robin putting his headphones up to the wall of Bobo’s terrarium, and, for the first time in a long time, Bobo seems calmer and more balanced.

I really need you tonight

Maeve gives them proof that she has the journal they’re looking for, but leverages its location against Nicole’s body. Doc and Jeremy refuse to kill their friend, so they’re at a bit of an impasse.

Forever’s gonna start tonight

Maeve is trying to get Doc to bite her, but it’s not working. And being a teenage ghost witch does not give her the best poker face, so Doc realizes that the journal is hidden in the fireplace (not a great hiding place for something made of paper, but whatever — no one asked me). He finds it, so Maeve threatens to kill Nicole herself and take her body over…even though that means her sunglasses won’t sit right with the hole she’s about to put in her head. Somehow Maeve leaves Nicole (I think?) but then sets the cabin on fire.

Forever’s gonna start tonight

The two Earp sisters find a fully healed Mercedes at the Gardner house. She looks GOOD. Like, really good. They fangirl over her face, and she lets them in since there’s a radioactive demon on their tail. She says that Waverly healed her — by touching her face and saying she’s beautiful. The Revenant takes about two seconds to break into their poorly constructed defenses against him, and the sisters do their best to fight a demon they can’t touch without being burned. Waverly realizes that the ring controls Bulshar’s arm, and she has Two-Armed Clint choke himself out. Clever girl. They yank Bulshar’s arm off of Clint, who is now One-Armed again.

Once upon a time I was falling in love

Now I’m only falling apart

Charlie and the rest of the Fire Services get to the Perley home, and he rescues a choking and gasping Doc. But Doc attacks and kills him, even though he’s the blandest snack in the cupboard.

There’s nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the heart

Kevin shows up at Mercedes’ house, and she’s impressed that the girls have retrieved the arm. But here’s the catch — the arm was a test, not the weapon. Wynonna is so angry — she’s proven herself 137 times over, but Wynonna wasn’t the one being tested. Waverly was. Seems our baby girl isn’t just anything, either. She’s the champion.

Once upon a time there was light in my life

But now there’s only love in the dark

Nicole finds Doc and Charlie and is immediately grateful that Doc is alive…and then realizes he killed Mr. Fire Services. She was the only one left — the only one willing to work with him. She pulls her gun on him but can’t bring herself to fire the wooden bullets. She tells him to go and says she’ll kill him if she ever sees him again.

Nothing I can say

A total eclipse of the heart

He turns around and walks away, dejected…and then starts to laugh. What the what?!

(Turn around, bright eyes!)

Every now and then I fall apart

Kevin says that Waverly is the champion because she has her father’s ring — the ring Bulshar stole from him. Juan Carlo and Julian were the two angels “tasked with protecting the garden,” and Waverly is the daughter of one of them. Oh, and Bulshar was the snake from the Garden.

(Turn around, bright eyes!)

Every now and then I fall apart

Waverly had to prove herself because she’s only a half-angel, and that’s not a thing they’re used to seeing. But she’s proven herself. Waverly is the champion. Even though she probably won’t miracle Mercedes’ love handles.

And I need you now tonight

And I need you more than ever

Jeremy, Nicole, and Robin are still poring over JC’s book — er, Juan Carlo, not the other book — and realize that the Blood Eclipse is the only night Bulshar can be contained, but conveniently, that’s tomorrow. But it’s cool — Bobo is ready.

And if you only hold me tight

We’ll be holding on forever

Kevin tells the Earp girls the fine print she hadn’t mentioned until now — to save the world, Waverly has to take her place in her father’s throne and she’ll be turned to stone, sealing the Garden from Bulshar. Kevin obviously doesn’t know that Wynonna isn’t willing to sacrifice Waverly for anything — including to save everyone. And Waverly isn’t sure she’s on board either.

And we’ll only be making it right

Cause we’ll never be wrong

Nicole and Jeremy look at Charlie’s dead body, and Nicole tries to pull Maeve out of him, but Jeremy tells her the witch is gone. Neither of them understand what happened.

Wynonna and Waverly sit in front of the unlit fireplace at the Homestead, puzzling out what they should do. Waverly knows it’s the only way to stop the bad guy, but Wynonna isn’t willing to give up the only thing that makes her life worth living. She can’t imagine going through all of this without her baby girl.

Together we can take it to the end of the line

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

Wynonna is going to be selfish. She won’t give up Waverly, the only light in her life.

I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark

We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

There’s no way this is the only solution, because Wynonna deserves better. Even her shitty life couldn’t be this bad.

I really need you tonight

Forever’s gonna start tonight

Wynonna notices that it’s 9 p.m. in Winter, and it’s blazing light outside. What’s going on?

Forever’s gonna start tonight

There’s a knock at Mercedes’ door, and she hopes that her date looks like their profile picture. She’s excited, ready to show off her new face.

Once upon a time I was falling in love

Now I’m only falling apart

But Mercedes has really bad luck here in Purgatory, and a mysterious figure grabs her. “Not the face!” she shouts.

There’s nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the heart

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness:

• Michael Eklund is KILLING IT as Bobo this season. He’s on edge, keeping it together, but still completely believable and authentic…and sympathetic despite what we know he’s done. It’s truly amazing.
• I geeked out really hard at the Judy Blume reference. These writers just…get me.
• Is hope not just a general concept but like…a person? What if Willa was hope, with Wynonna being faith and Waverly being charity?
• Bobo tells Wynonna they’re “the heirs of cruelty and torture.” We’ve always known Bobo was special. He’s different. Is this the season we find out what exactly he is? Is he some sort of reverse Earp heir, destined for…something?
• Wynonna sure has been speaking a lot of Yiddish this season. Is that a clue? Something about the Hebrew bible, perhaps?
• If Bulshar has the key to open the Garden and knows where the Garden is, then why hasn’t he just opened it already? Typical grandstanding villain.
• I felt like Jeremy did a shout-out to all of us recappers out there, which was appreciated. I feel seen.
• That “Bulshar would kill on Tinder” joke because of his connection with the trees was effing HILARIOUS.
• I liked the “it’s a regift” line about Peacemaker. Good throwback to Willa, the true Earp heir!
• “Where is it? I don’t know.”
• I enjoyed the subtle reference to Bo Dennis with Kevin’s “I wish I could force people to do things” line.
• I’m assuming Nicole doesn’t approve of all of the pickles at the Homestead, but I guess it’s a better snack than a giant spider.
• Wynonna: Porg. Me: Oh, clearly she went and saw Episode VII with Waverly and Jeremy. She probably grumbled about it, but it was a rare night off, so she went, and they took Nicole and Dolls with them. It was a big family night out and maybe that’s when that photo Dolls had of them was taken.
• I got into an interesting discussion this weekend about what the phrase “Scarlet Madonna” referred to, with regards to Nicole. It could have just been a reference to Nicole’s general do-good-dork persona, or perhaps Nicole’s a gold-star lesbian and Maeve is saying she has never known man, just like the Virgin Mary.
• Is Doc just embracing his vampire nature — a creature without a soul who cares for no one — or has he been inhabited by Maeve?
• “Don’t forget Eve.” “Ugh. Wish I could. Don’t even get me started on that girl.” OKAY, SO WE’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT EVE, THEN? Is it Jolene? Mama? Waverly? CHRISSY NEDLEY?!

Our good friend Kevin, whose wardrobe I would stab for, is wearing a lovely black-rose boutonniere as an accent. I looked, and black roses symbolize “major change or upheaval in the future.” Now, obviously this lady isn’t what she seems, especially if she’s the one who snatched Mercedes in the end. And I think the Earps are always faced with major change and upheaval, and their future is never certain, and none of that is necessarily a bad thing. Just curious that this particular character is a harbinger of that.

Nicole tells Doc that she’s the only friend she has left in this town, which is probably true, but I like that it doesn’t stop her from protecting herself against him. She makes bullets that can kill him, and she even draws on him after he kills Charlie. She has a big heart and is willing to overlook a lot in the hopes of working together, but she’s still gonna be smart.

Charlie. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. First of all, I am not going to mourn you, and the reasons are twofold. One, I’m not really sad you’re dead. Two, I don’t actually believe that you’re dead. Here’s a pro tip — do not whine to the city’s demon hunter that you want to know when it’s gonna be about you. Because here’s the thing — it isn’t. You’ve actually entered a world where it is not. About. You. Welcome to feminist Purgatory, Chuck. Population: who cares because it’s not about you. Because it’s not even that she doesn’t have time for you. It’s that she doesn’t have time for you right now. You know, because ultimate evil.

Maeve was kind of confusing to me. She kept to herself but also wrote down whatever Juan Carlo said, was burned at the stake for being a witch back in Doc’s original day, but also now says things like “on fleek.” Do they get Keeping Up with the Kardashians in Gretta’s fireplace?

Kat Barrell really fucking went for it as the cop-almost-sheriff-possessed-by-a-fire-witch. I think it easily could have been flat and one-note, but in my opinion, it was a freaking delight. I do prefer Nicole to be of her own faculties, but if you don’t want me to wish for things like this, stop making altered Nicole — drunk, possessed, glamoured — so damn entertaining. It takes a lot of courage as an actor to trust your director and your scene buddies to just completely let loose like she did, and it was just so entertaining to watch.

In this episode, we get further proof that you can pair up any two people on this show and the result will be magic. Waverly and Jeremy? It’s been done. We know it. We like it. Wynonna and Charlie? Sure, whatever. Doc and Nicole? Okay, I love it, and I want more. Bobo and Robin? YES. BOBO HAS A FRIEND. BOBO LIKES JAZZ. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. #BoBinForever.

Poor Wynonna. She became the Heir, even though she didn’t want to. Even though it wasn’t even her birthright. But she did it, and then she grew to like it. She was good at it. And then…Willa came back, and at every turn she was reminded that the gun was Willa’s. The title was Willa’s. Willa, Willa, Willa. And now, she’s worked so hard to prove herself every step of the way, and the champion is Waverly. Sigh.

I think this week’s episode is setting us up to be devasted and wrecked next week  — just like any good Wynonna Earp episode should. I’m excited to watch it with other Earpers, possibly including the boss, and I can’t wait to see you all back here next week for my final recap!

Guys, I had more lyrics than photo captions this week, but I hate leaving anything unfinished, so…here’s some bonus content for you!

Once upon a time there was light in my life

But now there’s only love in the dark

Nothing I can say

A total eclipse of the heart

A total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around, bright eyes)

(Turn around, bright eyes)

(Turn around)

What did you think of this week’s episode? Share you thoughts below!

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 9 p.m. ET on SYFY and Space Channel.