Vagrant Queen Recap: Clueless

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One of my favorite things about Vagrant Queen has been its ability to rip my heart out in one scene and have me laughing in the next. Crackers, sometimes it even happens during one sentence of dialogue! The last few episodes have been quite the emotional rollercoaster, so when I heard this week’s episode would be an homage to the movie Clue, I was ready for a romp! Okay, well, confession time: I only saw Clue in its entirety for the first time over the weekend, but after THAT viewing, I knew we’d be in for a romp. 

Previously on Vagrant Queen, our crew climbed aboard the Sunshine Express on a mission to rescue their beloved Winnipeg from the hands of the evil Intergalactic Parking Authority. Isaac got caught up in the hunt for a scientist who understood the intricacies of the Sterzaad while Amae started to flirt with a friendly train passenger before realizing her “more than a spark plug” feelings for Elida. And speaking of our Not A Queen, she took off on a solo mission to Arriopa, but had a change of heart and joined her friends back on Carillo with the Winnipeg in tow. 

As soon as this episode starts, you know we’re in for a treat just based on the jaunty music. Isaac rolls a keg around while Elida rolls out a D&D-style battle map of the palace and starts to plan their infiltration and hopeful murder of Lazaro. As Elida plans, she’s watching a report live from Arriopa where we learn that Lazaro’s event is completely sold out! No worries though, Amae strolls up and suggests that they just mug someone to get in. It seems Isaac and Elida’s shenanigans are rubbing off on our bb, and they couldn’t be prouder of their mechanic. The Space Friends have had a rough go of it lately, so they decide to drink some top shelf booze they scored from a job and make a night of it!

Cut to DRUNK SPACE FRIENDS!! There are empty cans everywhere, they’re listing off ways to kill Lazaro, and Elida somehow has a sword?? It’s so nice to see these reluctant friends finally getting a chance to blow off some steam after you know, exploring an ancient tomb, losing half of their adventuring party, and discovering that Elida’s mom is actually dead. They even order Elida’s favorite curry from Gluuber Eats (LOL). As they continue their debauchery, Drunk!Amae reaches out and grabs Elida’s hand while gushing about how much she loves…their team…and Winnibot. And as Amae let Elida’s hand go, we saw Elida’s face go from surprised to hopeful to disappointed that Amae didn’t reach back out for her. 

Amida shippers don’t have much time to process the last 10 seconds because there’s a power freeze on the ship and then a doorbell rings?! Because apparently they have a doorbell now thanks to their proactive mechanic. (I’m going to go ahead and ignore the logistics of how exactly this would work. Because sci-fi. And genre. And I’m having too much fun for logic to get in the way.) As they open the doorlock, they’re greeted by approximately 45 members of the Intergalactic Parking Authority (remember their over the top warning from last episode?) who have seized control of the Winnipeg in an effort to collect the hefty fines that have been racked up.

And now, dear reader, is when the real fun begins. If you’ve seen the movie Clue, then you know one of its hallmarks is fast, quippy, and sometimes circular dialogue. The parallels between the movie and this episode start with the parking agents trying to get a straight answer about who owns the ship, and continues with an “I’m not shouting!”

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Suddenly, Lloyd, one of the agents, starts coughing up a lung in the corner. Elida demands to know why he’s on the ship if he has the flu and I have to admit, watching someone actively displaying signs of sickness around other people in a confined space was super unsettling. 

Amae suggests that they just pay the full amount of the fines now so that the agents could be on their way, but then she sees the amount and instead offers their guests some snacks. Isaac and Elida head off to pull together some food for everyone and Isaac ribs Elida a bit about Amae and whether she’s going to do anything about her feelings. Elida is doing that fun thing where she tries to convince herself that she and Amae are just friends to avoid possible hurt down the road if things go badly. That definitely always works, yup! Amida feelings aside, I loved seeing Elida and Isaac getting back to some semblance of their old relationship. Like Elida said, things aren’t totally cool, but they’re making progress. 

Meanwhile, Lloyd is fully convulsing and no one seems to be the least bit concerned about it. Half of the agents are slurping their soup, Lesley is rambling about all of the places she’s visited, and Lloyd is literally foaming at the mouth. Friends, if I’m exhibiting any of these symptoms in your presence, I beg of you, please get me some help. 

Because the agents locked down the ship, they also got access to the Winnipeg’s logs and saw that they were en route to Arriopa. Coincidentally, Lesley was also trying to get to the palace and even has an extra ticket to the event. 

As Amae starts to go through the list of completely unfair parking violations, the power goes out, a blaster goes off, the lights come back on, AND LLOYD IS DEAD. And just like that, we’re in the middle of an old-fashioned whodunnit!

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Everyone is pointing fingers. The parking authoring agents accuse the space friends who clearly wanted a way to get out of paying their fines; and our friends accuse the parking authority because they are quite literally holding guns (even though Isaac proceeds to demonstrate that they have guns hidden all over the ship). Elida tries to shift the blame by pointing out that their guns can do way more damage, but Amae adorably tries to explain that that’s not exactly helping their cause. 

Isaac steps up though and asks the obvious question, “Who has motive?” Eileen accuses Mull of threatening to kill Lloyd in public (well actually, he threatened, in public, to kill him–a favorite movie moment of mine), but Mull turns it around and accuses Eileen. McKean then accuses Lesley of poisoning Lloyd but no poison anyone has ever seen would leave the kind of damage in front of them. 

Meanwhile, Amae is freaking out about the mess on the ship when they hear a scream. It turns out it’s just a recording of Lesley screaming that Winnibot played. Her power is low though so she can’t access the feed to see who killed Lloyd. The teams realize that Kahn is missing and then find her dead body. Elida notes that had she been the killer, she would have just taken them all out at once, and Amae yet again reminds her that this is not helping. 

Not only have two of their agents been mysteriously killed, but now the Intergalactic Parking Authority’s ship is gone! Once everyone gets back to the main area, they pause because Lloyd’s body isn’t where they left it. Lesley is so upset by this turn of events that she inquires about getting another drink. She goes to the supply closet for a refill when suddenly, she screams as Lloyd’s body falls onto her. Did someone kill him…again?!

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There’s another power surge and McKean is starting to lose it. He screams to Isaac, “Please, we’re desperate to get off!” and I’ve never related more to Isaac than in this moment when he looks at Elida with that “can you believe this guy lobbed me a ‘that’s what she said’ so easily?” look on his face. Also like Isaac, I too use jokes as a coping mechanism.

Eileen informs everyone that the ship’s controller was with Kahn, but it’s missing. Even though there’s tracking on it to that it’s in fact on the Winnipeg, their systems aren’t advanced enough to get an exact location on it. The doorbell rings and in another movie wink, they wonder if whoever it is will go away. The bell rings again, though, and it’s the Gluuber Eats guy! He asks to use their washroom (I love Canada) and the team agrees after some back and forth about the location of the bodies. (Again, such a great scene in the movie as well.) They walk him to the washroom and lock him in. McKean can’t keep his shit together and screams about the two dead bodies in the main room and Isaac slaps him as if he was Mrs. Peacock. 

Everyone decides to split into teams of two to search the ship. Rather than cutting up matchsticks to determine teams, Isaac uses the extra frankenfurters that Gluuber Eats brought. Elida cheats so she can partner up with Amae and I don’t blame her. As they search their part of the ship, the two muse about how wild it is that this is happening to them right now. Amae isn’t too surprised considering the shenanigans they’ve been involved with. In fact, she tells Elida that she wouldn’t change anything about their time together. Well, except for all of the bad stuff. Elida assures Amae that she didn’t take it that way and that she agrees with her. She starts to go in for the kiss, Amae looks so hopeful…but Elida gives her the ‘ole shoulder pat and chastises herself as she walks away. 

McKean and Mull team up and together they discover the door to a secret passage! Eileen is in the cockpit being stressy mcstresspants so Winniebot tries to play some music to get her to relax. 

By the way, the Gluuber Eats guy is still on the ship and we cut to him plunging the washroom toilet as a shadowy figure looms behind him. 

As this is all going down, Lesley’s questioning Isaac about his wife and his exploits on the ship. In the middle of their conversation, Isaac delivers another movie-favorite line as he checks on the main area: “Yup, two bodies, everything’s fine.” 

McKean and Mull’s secret passageway leads them to the washroom where they discover the dead Gluuber Eats guy! After a hilarious “let us in, let us in!” “let us out, let us out!” exchange, Isaac suggests breaking down the door, but of course, Amae has a key. Everyone, including Isaac, is surprised to learn about the existence of a secret passage. 

That gives Elida an idea for how they can get into the palace using a secret passageway she remembers from her time there. Eileen very not stealthily takes this opportunity to alert the Admirality to their plight, but before she can hit “send”, Elida blasts the communication device out of her hand. While she has a very dramatic breakdown, Mull goes off on his own to investigate a noise he heard, because I guess he’s never seen one single movie where nothing good happens when you go off alone. As he explores the lower portion of the ship, a big creepy crawly creature appears behind him. 

Meanwhile, Amae is Big Annoyed about how messy the ship is getting (this is very cute and I love it) and Winnibot informs them that the ship’s reserves will run out in 15 minutes. It’s then that they realize Mull is missing too. They go searching and find his dead body with a hole in his head. If these bodies all have holes in their heads, then why was Lloyd’s head blown off? The remaining team members all accuse each other once more until they see the creepy crawly for themselves. 

A space bug of that size requires some legit weapons, and lucky for our friends, they have a cabinet full of them! An iron pipe that also electrocutes! A candlestick that’s also a flamethrower! And a rope that’s…a rope, Elida tells Isaac with impeccable deadpan delivery. 

Lesley pours some more drinks while she and Isaac talk about Earth and the fact that it’s in the Milky Way which is better known in this galaxy as the Scadbury Galaxy and wouldn’t you know it, Lesley loves it there!

As Amae and Elida search the ship for the creature, Elida admits that she did want to talk to Amae and Isaac about the fact that when they get to Arriopa, she’s going to the palace alone. She’s not doing it because she doesn’t think her friends can handle it; she knows that Isaac and Amae aren’t immune to the Sterzaad’s powers and that she’s the only one who stands a shot against it. As Elida was just about to go in for the kiss (I ASSUME), a scream rings out as Eileen and McKean find the creature and it kills McKean. 

Isaac desperately questions Lesley about how she got to the Scadbury Galaxy because he was told it was impossible to get to. All he wants is to get to his wife and child, but as Lesley starts to tell him how she got there, a reanimated Kahn gets up and shoots her in the back! Kahn shoots at Isaac who shoots her in the arm before barricading himself in the cockpit. 

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Elida, Amae, and Eileen join him, and Amae reveals that she knows who the murderer is. Isaac, playing the role of Tim Curry, steps up and says that he too knows who it is and that he’ll be taking us step-by-step through the evening to unveil how he solved the mystery. Before he can do that however, Amae jumps in and yells that Lloyd hatched! You see, while he was on vacation, he was infected by a creature that laid its eggs inside him (ew.) While the eggs are in a host, it can take control of its motor functions. The creature inside Lloyd hatched, which is why his head appeared to be blown up. 

The Space Friends grab their blasters and get ready to fight off some reanimated corpses. Without messing up the ship of course. Which means, you guessed it, Mannequin Challenge time! Elida realizes you need to stab them through the mouth, so the rest of her team proceeds to take the rest down.

Meanwhile, Eileen is trying to run from the creature but gets caught and has eggs implanted in her. The power goes out one more time and as our crew slowly searches the ship, they get caught by the creature and tangled in her web. Before creature can kill and implant Isaac, he buys time by asking why she moved Lloyd’s body (spoiler, girl’s gotta eat). That gives Elida just enough time to grab the candlestick flamethrower and shoot it at the creature who delivers the iconic line, “FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE!” 

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They’re released from the web but have a hard time catching their breath as the ship’s oxygen slowly runs out. Once the creature is dead dead, Amae and Elida (WHO ARE LITERALLY LEANING ON EACH OTHER) hear music coming from inside the creature’s body. The cut her open and find the communicator just as the ship shuts down. A few seconds later, it starts back up again and they gasp for air. Behind them, Eileen starts to reanimate, but Winnibot electrocutes her. 

They dispose of the bodies and say goodbye to them all by name, except for the Gluuber Eats delivery guy who, in a final homage to Clue, Isaac names “Mr. Boddy.” 

Before our crew can celebrate successfully solving a murder mystery, they receive a transmission from one of the loyalists. He tells them that the best way to beat Lazaro is through excessive force (duh), but because of that one of their captains is sending their battalion to Arriopa to bomb the city. 

And that’s where we’ll pick up next week! This episode was so fun to watch and I’m really glad I decided to watch Clue before this aired! If you haven’t watched the movie, I highly recommend it; I can’t believe it took me so long to get on board. 

 

What did you think of the episode? Did you have as much fun as I did? Let us know in the comments and we’ll see you next week!

Vagrant Queen airs Thursdays at 11 p.m. ET/PT on SYFY and Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on Citytv.