Rookie Blue recap: 15 Division Divided?

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“Breaking Up the Band” was an apt episode title, and worrisome given that next week might just be Rookie Blue‘s series finale! What will they do without each other?! And what will we do without Rookie Blue? Oh sadness…

Let’s not dwell on what may or may not be! We’ve got McSwarek road bumps and rom-com endings to discuss. Also, I should probably issue an apology upfront to Chris Diaz for my not-so-vaguely lascivious commentary regarding his bulging biceps. My bad, dude.

I take it there’s no guest bedroom?

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Ex-girlfriend and baby mama asleep in your fiancé’s bed? Yeah, Andy’s allowed to be upset about this one. Except how do you stay mad at Sam Swarek when he’s got a baby strapped to his chest!?

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I mean, come on!

Advice time with Juliet

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“I’ll have what she’s having…” except not, because Juliet is sensible and apparently, Andy’s new shoulder to cry (rant?) on. However, her advice–going undercover in Vancouver and “hitting pause”–is terrible.

Chris + Gail = #FriendshipGoals

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Gail: What does my outfit say to you?
Chris: I’m wearing clothes…?

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I also don’t know what I’d do without Chris and Gail this season. You two have been stellar.

Meet Papa Peck

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He wants Gail to lie(ish?) and give Steve a better alibi.

Duncan’s personal #squadgoals

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He’s just a lil’ puppy who wants friends, guys. Will you love him?

You broke up the band, Yoko!

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And in this case, Yoko is corruption, scandal and/or Jarvis himself.

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The band is mighty unhappy.

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Traci’s response to being told to try something new was gold: “If I want that, I’ll go to zumba.”

McStein

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Huh?

Dice

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“Not all of these names can be a winner.” In an alternate universe, Oliver Shaw (and the RB writers) are in charge of handing out official portmanteaus like they’re royal proclamations. At least, in my mind, that’s true.

Family Interruptus

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Andy’s body language said it all. Defensive. Angry. Upset. And these are all valid emotions.

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However Sam’s right: they need to stick together and figure it out. She can’t just go into her default “panic and run” mode with an undercover gig. I was so glad Sam called her out on that sh*t.

More apologies and goodbyes

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Wait, did these two not get a portmanteau!? They were an actual, albeit brief, couple!

Handling anger well

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This is a “reasonable man.” Kicking a vending machine. Like one does.

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Even Oliver is skeptical. But he really tried his best to offer up some wisdom and at least one fact: “Andy McNally loves you.”

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Good talk.

McStein’s case of the week

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Scalpers at a music festival turned many girls onto ecstasy and rufies at a music festival.

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VIP passes may have been the culprit. Just kidding, it was a band with drugs.

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The uber Eastcoast/Maritime-accented Stone brothers, who actually stuck with the story that they’re “in the program” and have been clean and sober for years. They was framed!

P.S. Canadian Cameo alert

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“Peyton, the festival promoter” is none other than Package Deal’s Randal Edwards. You may also recognize him from Degrassi TNG, The Killing or Papillon.

Gail’s no good, very bad, horrible day

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Brother on trial. Check. Forgotten (another) meeting with adoption caseworker. Check.

Important announcement

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Once again, Sam Swarek is here to remind you that, yes, everyone looks hotter in sunglasses.

Secondary important announcement

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Time to line up for tickets to Chris Diaz’s gun show. Damnnnnn, those arms! Travis, you liftin’, bro?

Who’s a good puppy?

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You are, Duncan! You are!

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Give him an extra treat for sniffing out the bad man before everyone else put two and two together.

McStein Case of the Week Update

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This took a turn into sad, sad, sad territory: Tammy’s heart gave out and she died. Poor, sweet boyfriend Bryce did not take the news well. That being said, next time I get bad news, I’d like it delivered via Gregory Smith.

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Hello.

Bryce skipped right to the 2nd stage of grief: Anger

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And he lit the trailer holding Peyton and Chloe on FIRE. (Cue Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out For a Hero” for this next part.)

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Dov leaped into the fire and kicked the door down.

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Dead-lifted Chloe out. (Is dead-lifted a real word? Oh well.)

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And revived her with CPR.

Gun Show Part Deux

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Bless you, Chris Diaz. (Isn’t it great that we live in a world where it’s not just dudes that can make mildly pervy comments about a person’s physique on the Internet? Equality!)

The trial of Steve Peck

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Sworn to tell the truth, but devastated to testify against her brother, I give you Gail Peck:

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Whose leather Peter Pan collar is adorable, I might add. It should have been said earlier but I’m saying it now. The back is cute too:

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Back to the trial, instead of letting Gail lie on the stand (or risking her not lying) Steve asked for a sidebar with the judge and his council (who 5 minutes later mistakes Gail for a reporter – WTF was that about!? You just saw her on the stand!). He took a plea deal to testify against Santana and isn’t happy about it, even though it means he’ll only get a slap on the wrist. I watch enough cop-and-law-based TV to know that deal was likely offered to him before that moment and he should be ecstatic to take it. The prosecutor wants to get the bigger fish with the little ones.

Baby’s first apology tour

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Marlo turned up to also say a big “I’m sorry” to Andy and explained how she’s going to ensure that her life doesn’t bleed into the McSwarek nest anymore. Andy had doubts.

Rom-com ending for one couple

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“You’re the 4th airport limo I’ve pulled over.” Okay, this was a little swoon-y (and minorly out of the How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days handbook).

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Look at that grin, though. Who wouldn’t want it to come to Vancouver with them?!

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These two crazy kids might make it. Big clap for Nicolet(te)…? Wallins? Cord? Julick? Guys, WHAT is this couple’s portmanteau!? Hit the comments; let’s put it to a vote.

Horrible, horrible day for Gail

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Did I mention that there’s another (perfect) family interested in adopting Sophie?

Never fear, McSwarek ‘shippers

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Here’s a white knight, rom-com, shouting-I-love-you-from-the-rooftops soliloquy for the ages, courtesy of one Sam Swarek: “The only reason I ever thought I could be a dad in the first place is because of you. Being with you has changed me. I’m a better man. Which means I might actually be the dad I never thought I could be. And I wanna show that to you. I wanna be that. With you. So please don’t go away again. Not for 5 months, or 5 minutes.”

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“Andy McNally, you are my family.”

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“I’m obviously going to stay. I love you.” Solid choice, Andy.

AND THEN THEY GOT A PUPPY!

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A Goldendoodle named Boo Radley. Everything is OKAY, everyone. No need to panic.

Rookie Blue airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on Global in Canada and Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET on ABC in the US.

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