Lost Girl: Fancy Footwork

lost

Aaaaand we’re back! Lost Girl Season 5 premiered Sunday night and in true fashion it threw us headfirst into all of the action. Love it!

“Bo before bro. Let’s go!” – Kenzi

Right off the bat, Bo was busy climbing mountains, searching for the Hell Shoes. Remember those funky things? They look kind of boho chic, are made from strictly natural fibers, are one size fits all, oh, and allows the wearer to waltz into the underlife? Apparently they also give the wearer the power to collect souls to build “an army to end all life,” which I’m assuming is a fancy way of saying “spread a whole lot of death and destruction.” I would be down with that actually. It’s about time Bo went to the dark side for real!

Understandably, Bo wasn’t excited about the fact that a side effect of wearing the shoes was losing one’s mind and killing folk. But she was willing to risk all that to retrieve her bestie. You know who was even less excited about it? Baby Tam-Tam. It seems she had been in a funk since she delivered Kenzi’s soul to Valhalla and no one was really sure why. She was very adamant about Bo not going down there, though, but when has Bo ever let a little thing like a warning stop her from saving a friend?

I’m sure Bo expected to find Kenzi roasting on a spit over a giant bonfire. I know I did! But Valhalla is an afterlife for fallen warriors, kind of like the VIP section of the afterlife, the Gold Star Club of hell dimensions, and it was more luxury hotel than hellfire. Kenzi was living it up on chocolate, an ever changing view and an afterlifetime supply of designer clothes. Oh, and a weird phone stalker. But other than that, she was pretty content. I was a bit suspicious when she seemed to be avoiding all mentions of Hale. That is, until she started receiving invitations to her own wedding. Apparently her fae lover boy was on his way from another after-realm to put a ring on it.

Of course, their friends back home didn’t know Kenzi and Bo were enjoying room service and planning Kenzi’s impending nuptials. Even Tamsin got over her initial hesitation and went to beg Kenzi’s soul from her Valkyrie mistress Freya, but no such luck. Seems Tam-Tam was in everyone’s bad books for shady deals she had made with shady people (including Trick in his Blood King days) so she could extend her number of lives. But, like, girl I feel you! Immortality just ain’t what it used to be. I mean, what’s the point of living forever if you don’t actually get to live forever, amirite? Anyways, she got a phone call from the creepy blue light phone and just like that she was back to her old dark side Valkyrie self.

We know Tamsin was sent to collect Bo when she showed up to become Dyson’s new partner. For who and for what purpose, she never explicitly said, but I’m pretty sure the who is Bo’s dad. I can even guess at the why, given the big hint about the Hell Shoes that was dropped earlier on in the episode. So here’s my theory: Bo’s dad is the king pin of some hellish after-realm that Freya keeps zapping people to. He obviously meant Bo to get a hold of the Hell Shoes so she could raise an army of souls into the Earth realm, probably in his name, and establish him as Ruler of the Universe or something. Big Bads have done more dastardly deeds for less defined motivations.

When Bo got ready to walk Kenzi down the aisle, I thought maybe we were going to have to say our goodbyes to our favourite human already. Too soon, I thought. The last season has barely begun! Her wedding dress looked amazing though and I couldn’t help but be happy to see her get her happy ending. I should have known better though. It’s possible everything would have worked out fine, if the wedding hadn’t been a set up and orchestrated by Bo’s dad to lure her into his clutches. Bo made a deal to get Kenzi checked out of Hotel Valhalla, though, so while she headed down towards hellfire and what will inevitably be an uncomfortable family reunion, Kenzi got to return to life on Earth. A bit of a comedown after her five-star afterlife, if you ask me, but I’m so glad she’s back!

My worst nightmare is being suffocated to death, so I could feel myself start to hyperventilate when I saw Kenzi lying in her coffin. Don’t light that candle Kenzi! Don’t you know that will burn up your oxygen?! Not sure if that’s true, actually…

But no worries guys, no worries! Dyson and Lauren are on the case (although I’m pretty sure one of them is about to get reaped by a Valkyrie who may or may not be one of Tamsin’s bitchiest sisters) and Bo is on her way to meet her biological father–and almost certainly battle it out with him. This is only the beginning (of the end) and I can’t wait until next week!

And you? Tell us in the comments section below.

Lost Girl airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on Showcase and starting April 17, 2015 on Fridays at 10 p.m. ET on SyFy.